What is a Natural Sense of Self?
A Natural Sense of Self is the most rudimentary and natural awareness of Self. It involves awareness of being a separate entity from others — specifically from the primary caregiver — as distinguished from being treated as, and thus identifying as, an extension, a part, a pawn in the emotional games of the primary care-giver, a hindrance in achieving their Ego-References.
Confusion in this awareness leads to an Enmeshment and the Castle Story, a lack of psycho-emotional differentiation from the mother/primary care-giver. When the child is developing adequately, the child’s psyche will naturally come to a gradual distinguishing or differentiation between itself and the mother. First a physical separation at birth and as the child grows older during normal development, a psychological, emotional, and mental separation occurs.
If for some reason this differentiation process doesn’t take place at the right time, the development of this Natural Sense of Self is hindered or thwarted . Then the awareness of being a separate and autonomous entity, another human being with the same rights and duties as everyone else, does not take place according to Nature’s plan.
Having a Natural Sense of Self is absolutely necessary for a person to develop into a normal, healthy, successful person. Ultimately in life a healthy Sense of Self is going to be the one and only secure place to come to rest in (inside, innerly). A Natural Sense of Self is the anchor or spine of our ‘be-ing.’ It is our ultimate inner home, or more exactly it is who/what/where we mean by ‘I’ and ‘me.’ It is the place we act from and are motivated from. We are fortunate if it gets developed well in us.
There is a much fuller description of Natural Sense of Self and how it develops, in ‘The Development of Sense of Self’ and in the Comparison Chart.
