In this theory, the term ‘Real Self’ is the self which is not experienced by people whose childhood is deficient in some ways, (described at length in this theory) leading them to develop compensating behaviors. ‘Real Self’ is also used to refer to the self which is experienced by people whose childhood is normal and healthy in certain specific ways described at length in this Theory.
‘Real Self’ is also the self which is experienced when the people with deficient childhoods heal themselves. After healing, there is no longer any ‘second party’ needed in order to have a (sort of) experience of a Self.
‘Real Self’ refers to the purest version of a person’s potential and manifestation as a human being which develops when childhood natural developmental processes are supported in a healthy way – or which emerges upon Recovery from the unhealthy substitute. ‘Real Self’ is the purest, healthiest focus of experiencing who we are as a real, autonomous human being. A ‘Real Self’ is a self which is integrated, which is not damaged. It is the object of true ‘self’-care.
In a word: A ‘Real/Authentic Self’ is the ‘self’ experienced/sensed when one has a Natural Sense of Self or a Restored Sense of Self. The term is used to emphasize certain qualities or characteristics of that ‘self’. It is not the ‘self’ experienced/sensed by someone who has a Substitute Sense of Self; that ‘self’ has quite different qualities and characteristics.